We
get old, we judge people…… we convince, we compete, we cooperate……we fight, we
laugh, we irritate each other or may be sometimes we take each other for
granted. This used to be my theory of existence till a miracle happened in my
life.
14th February 2016
Dear Love,
Do
you remember the day I met you 1st time? I remember very well. It
was a Saturday afternoon, a dark, cloudy, a bit rainy day when I saw you 1st
time near the bus park. You were playing with some crazy children (Well, at
that time, I thought you were one of them). You were wearing a pink t-shirt (looking
like a baby doll on that) and a blue jeans (which appeared a little bit tight
on you). Anyway whatever it was, when I saw you 1st time, I really fell
in love with you at the 1st sight.
Fortunately,
we took the same bus for the same destination. The two hours never ending
journey began at the mid-afternoon. You were looking so beautiful just like an
angel with your breathtaking eyes. We
looked straight through eyes for two hours not caring about the other
passengers on the bus. You know what, they thought we were crazy. Well, some
part of our left hemisphere were damaged as we couldn’t stop looking each other
for a long time. You know, they were so irritated and astonished by the
environment we created on that bus. The conductor of the bus was forced to
stand in between the gallery to block the sight as he couldn’t understand the
communication between me and you at that time was through heart to heart not through
eyes to eyes. You can’t imagine, he dared to ask me if you were my girlfriend. Then,
with a smile, I told him,” Well, one day she will.”
Somebody told me that sorry and thanks are the
two words that you
can tell anytime when needed. Do you remember the 1st word I have spoken to you? Yeah, it was ’sorry’. Let me repeat what I told you,” Sorry, I guess I disturbed you on the bus.” Then you told me that you didn’t mind, rather you liked the way I looked at you. After that, I was forgetful of everything but seeing you again, my life seems to stop there. I found someone to laugh at my bad jokes, to smile with me at my worse, to dance with me in the rain and to walk with me through the pain. You have absorbed me in your heart and I really didn’t have a reason to escape from your heart. My heart started swimming in the ocean, mind was floating with deep thoughts and I kept sinking very deeply in love with you. I often used to lie awake at mid-night thinking about you and wish that I could press some short of button that would have effect of instantly transporting me to those beautiful two hours of the past. But I know it can’t happen and it never will.
can tell anytime when needed. Do you remember the 1st word I have spoken to you? Yeah, it was ’sorry’. Let me repeat what I told you,” Sorry, I guess I disturbed you on the bus.” Then you told me that you didn’t mind, rather you liked the way I looked at you. After that, I was forgetful of everything but seeing you again, my life seems to stop there. I found someone to laugh at my bad jokes, to smile with me at my worse, to dance with me in the rain and to walk with me through the pain. You have absorbed me in your heart and I really didn’t have a reason to escape from your heart. My heart started swimming in the ocean, mind was floating with deep thoughts and I kept sinking very deeply in love with you. I often used to lie awake at mid-night thinking about you and wish that I could press some short of button that would have effect of instantly transporting me to those beautiful two hours of the past. But I know it can’t happen and it never will.
Do
you remember the day I proposed you on valentine with a rose in my left hand
and a ring in my right? And you gave me your 1st kiss on the right
side of my cheek. I also remember that you told me some unforgettable words, “I can’t promise you that I will be with you throughout your life but I will
stay in your heart forever and ever.” I never thought that would be your last
kiss and those would be your last words.
I
heard that your father never wanted to see us together and he condemned all of
your actions which used to be the way towards me. Yeah, I know you were hurt
badly, depressed and really scared of losing me. But before attending a life
threatening event, before giving up on your life, before committing suicide, I
wish you would have given me one single call so that I would die with you holding
your hand by giving you a warm hug. Do you know how much it’s hard for me to
take a single breath without you? It was like a fish without water, a sky
without stars, a heart without beats and a life without purpose. After that I
struggled through pain day by day and died every single second thinking about
you and hoping that someday you would come to see me dying in your absence. As
the time passed, I realized that you sacrificed your life for a reason. You
know babe, I didn’t have the courage to fight with that hurtful pain and didn’t
have the answers of the thousand unsolved questions arose after you left me.
But somewhere on the way I found courage to confront the fear of losing myself
from not being aware of the dreams that we both saw together. It took me 2
years to recover from that everlasting pain that you gave leaving me here alone.
Finally, I started a journey with a purpose and decided to become a best doctor
so that I would have a chance to save other human lives as I wasn’t able to
save yours when you were dying in the hospital. It’s 100% sure that I can’t be
recovered fully from this deadliest situation ever. But before taking my final
breath and before leaving this beautiful world I want to save thousands lives
so that your life will seem to be worthy enough to sacrifice. You are the only
reason I am here fighting for the life’s biggest battle.
You
know dear, I really miss you like hell and I don’t want a reason for any kind
of regret. Because it happened and there is no way to make you return back. But
I can prove, I can prove that nobody in this whole world can love you as much
as I do. There is one last thing I want to tell you that even you are not here
but still I can feel you in my heart beat, I can feel you through my every
single breath and it’s enough for me to be happy at least for a while. My love
for you is unconditional and it’s irreplaceable. Now even if it doesn’t feel
like I am worthy enough to be loved by someone like you, I hope someday I will
find a way to reach up to you where we will be together, side by side, holding
each other’s hands, kissing and hugging.
Anyway
dear, thank you for giving me the unforgettable memories. Thank you for giving
me a worthy life. Thank you for everything. Love you always.
Only
Yours
.............
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